What if your partner needs sex much more often? How to learn to relax if there is no desire. And do you need to force yourself to please your loved one? Simple tips for those couples where there is a mismatch of temperaments.
Agree or not?
Do I need to agree to sex every time when my partner or partner wants it? In a relationship, what behavior should be called “correct”? In fact, even a stamp in a passport is not a permission to use another person’s body.
Each pair has its own order. And it’s impossible to say exactly what is the norm and what is not. Two people must find a compromise for themselves that suits both on different issues. And in the frequency of sex too.
At the same time, it is important to take into account the needs of everyone, health status, mood. And ideal when both want intimacy.
What if you don’t want to?
Forcing yourself is a bad tradition. An agreement without desire is more like a rape than an act of love. And therefore, if you don’t want to, you don’t need to agree. But what if you don’t want to constantly?
First, you need to understand the reasons for what is happening. They can be very different:
- Health problems. Weakened potency, female diseases, any hormonal disruptions can cause apathy and a decrease in interest. And you need to undergo an examination to identify such causes and eliminate them.
- Stress or depression. An unstable emotional state and lack of desire are signs of mental stress. And sometimes it is necessary to exclude serious violations, to consult with a specialist in order to return everything to normal.
- Great fatigue. It happens that you want to sleep, not sex. This is a common situation in families with small children. And you just need a rest for interest in sex to appear. It is important to organize the space so that you can retire and spend time only together.
- Resentment, claims. They accumulate, and communication no longer brings joy, but only annoys. Negativity overrides the desire for sex, and intimacy sometimes even seems vile and disgusting.
- Manipulation. When a partner blackmails with sex or tries to get some benefit with his help, it is annoying. When everything happens not for mutual pleasure, but with intimidation or bargaining, it is repulsive.
But besides physical and mental problems, there are also different temperaments. Sometimes everything is in order in a relationship, but someone in a couple does not feel the need for frequent intimacy, while the other, on the contrary, wants it constantly. And then it can be difficult to solve everything.
If there are problems in the relationship, a psychologist will help to eliminate them. Physical problems can be dealt with with examination and treatment.
How else to awaken desire?
There are also ways to increase desire that do not require complex actions. They are available to everyone and are worth trying. The use of such methods allows you to “whet your appetite” so that intimacy brings joy.
- Think about sex. Spend a few minutes a day fantasizing about this topic. Just imagine kissing, hugging and having sex. This stimulates the person, and when the partner is near, the desire to merge with him will be more pronounced.
- Watch porn or read erotic stories. But don’t masturbate in the process, or bring yourself to orgasm. The goal is excitement, and it’s better to implement the ending together.
- Find your way to orgasm. Make any sexual intercourse end with orgasm. Then the process will seem more attractive. To do this, use various sex toys, anyone can finish with them.
- Experiment. Try something new instead of repeating the same scenario. Implement something unusual: from dressing up to BDSM influences.
- Try sexting. Send each other exciting messages and photos. Activate each other’s interest with spicy offers. This will also “stir up” interest.
You can learn to enjoy sex. But it should be pleasant and memorable. And it takes time and effort. With sex toys, everything is much simpler, they complement what is happening, enhance the feeling, and guarantee the right finish.