Sometimes there comes a time when you don’t want to lie anymore. And what if she became a hostage of her own acting? How to tell him that the orgasms were not real? And why make such a recognition in a long alliance.
Over 30% of women mimic orgasms. But most do this not constantly, but from time to time, so as not to upset your loved one. But what if imitation has always been? How to admit that there was no pleasure at all?
Why admit to imitation
Long-term relationships will not allow all life to hide something. It is very difficult to play the role of 5-10 or 30 years in a row. At one point, it will bother or become too fake. And if in the first months he does not notice, then later it will become obvious. And if the wedding is ahead, you must admit it.
Talking about everything is also worth it in order to fix it . Only in this way will a man understand that his actions are not effective, that he must behave differently. And only in this way will it be possible to find pleasure for two. Learning to speak frankly is important for any family. It is such a skill that allows the union to survive for many years. And recognition is a good reason to learn this kind of communication.
. Ideally, such a lesson takes place at the beginning of a relationship, allowing you to understand whether the dialogue will work.
What prevents to admit
To cope with doubts, you need to understand what prevents you from telling the truth. More often than not, fear and shame are behind the simulation. It is these feelings that make one play a role, and they also hinder a frank dialogue.
- Fear of loss. If you are afraid that he will leave, understand that the probability of his departure at the showdown is much higher. Therefore, honestly admit that they imitated so as not to lose it. Focus on a great feeling. Talk about not knowing how to behave.
- Fear of talking about numbness. It is necessary to admit that there is no pleasure at all. Then it will turn out to find a solution together. Modern experts help women find the path to pleasure. And this is not a shame, but normal. Many women do not get orgasms at the beginning of sexual activity, they learn it. And if you don’t admit, then you won’t be able to learn.
- Fear of offending. If he is really a bad lover, then understatement will not help him become better. You need to tell him that he is doing something wrong. Do not insult, do not make claims, but just give some advice, and then praise if he listened to them. The skills of a man can be developed, but he must understand that he needs to learn.
A properly set dialogue will help recognition. Men value honesty, so they will not accept recognition negatively. But you need to speak calmly when both of you are in an emotionally stable state.
What to do if there is no courage
There are situations when it is impossible to admit. Lack of determination or fear does not allow to utter not words. What to do then?
Another game will help. Pretend your sensitivity has changed. How to implement this? Pause for sex. Discard it for at least 2 weeks. In the future, stop simulating. Just stop portraying pleasure. Such changes will raise questions. Say that this is due to stress at work, changes in hormones or even climate. Any reason would be suitable. And when he believes, offer together to begin to return your pleasure. At each sex, direct it, tell what to do to make you feel good. If he does not believe in your words, reinforce them with the opinion of experts . Go to the gynecologist, endocrinologist. And tell your husband that they confirm the changes, that the body really was rebuilt, and the orgasms will have to learn again. Such a trick is harmless, but it can give the desired effect – improved sex and the manifestation of true pleasure. But still, this is a lie, and it is important to ensure that it does not open.
Find an orgasm yourself
Another way to open up is to begin to experience real pleasure. To do this, using masturbation, you need to find your way to orgasm. And then just repeat it with the man.
A variety of courses help in revealing sensitivity. Professional sexologists give a lot of advice and techniques, they are worth a try. And high-quality sex toys will come to the rescue, with them everyone will be able to teach real orgasms . And then you just need to persuade the man to take a sex toy to bed, and the orgasms will become real.