Today I want to touch on a painful topic for both men and women, namely, premature ejaculation. After conducting sociological research among my friends, to the question: “How long, in your opinion, should a normal sexual intercourse last?” – I received very ambiguous answers. Men voiced the time range from 30 minutes to 1 hour (excluding foreplay). Surprisingly, the girls were much more modest and talked about 10-20 minutes of frictions . I wonder which of them is exaggerating and which is underestimating?
As usual, the root of the problem goes to the porn industry and the sexual stereotypes imposed on us. Guys believe that prolonged intercourse puts them in the super macho suit that is the hallmark of a good lover. Girls, having seen enough of the virtuoso simulation of actresses, feel ashamed if they cannot reach orgasm at the sight of a partner’s penis. As a result of striving for ideals unattainable without pharmaceutical help, both of them feel flawed.
Sexologists unanimously say that there is no single norm regarding the duration of intimacy. However, they agree that ejaculating before intercourse or within a few seconds after starting is a sign of serious problems. This may be the first sign of impending impotence or indicate the presence of chronic diseases. Before self-medication, I strongly recommend that you consult a doctor. The specialist will identify the true causes of premature ejaculation, as well as prescribe an adequate course of physiological procedures, and, if necessary, medications.
I could not do without a disclaimer, and now that it finally sounded, I will, with a clear conscience, consider all kinds of ways to combat the rate of fire. I sincerely hope that at least one of the methods described below will help you. For a more consistent narrative, I suggest that the first step is to find the source of the problem.
Causes of premature ejaculation:
- hypersensitivity of the head – it can be congenital and acquired (as a result of injury);
- prostatitis is a serious disease leading to impotence and male infertility;
- inflammatory processes in the seminal vesicles and mound – increase sensitivity and contractility;
- stress – has a suppressive effect on the body as a whole, reduces immunity;
- negative sexual experience – anything from the ridicule of the previous partner to violence;
- increased nervousness – the so-called “fear of failure”;
- frequent masturbation “for the result” – if a man for a long period of time received satisfaction exclusively with the help of quick manual techniques, then lightning-fast ejaculation becomes a habit.
Traditional medicine
Since ancient times, all kinds of tinctures, decoctions and natural food additives have been used to restore male strength and prolong intimacy. Basically, they have a calming effect, normalize the work of the digestive tract and genitourinary system, and also compensate for the lack of trace elements. The most popular traditional medicines include:
- mint;
- melissa;
- valerian root;
- chamomile;
- St. John’s wort;
- buckwheat honey;
- pumpkin seeds;
- elderberry tincture.
External remedies
All products include anesthetic agents that reduce the sensitivity of the skin to stimulation. They have a local effect and are practically not absorbed into the bloodstream.
1. Lubricants
They differ from conventional lubricants in that the main active ingredients are lidocaine or menthol. The lubricants provide optimal glide and can be used together with a condom. Recommended for couples who, in addition to the problem with the duration of intercourse, with insufficient secretory activity of the female glands responsible for moisturizing the vagina.
2. Creams
They have a viscous pasty structure, promotes the perfusion of the skin and mucous membranes. In simple words, a positive effect is achieved due to vasodilation, and, as a result, a decrease in blood pressure in the treated area of the body. The drug is applied 15-20 minutes before intimacy. Cons of the product – the active ingredients can cause allergic reactions and irritation in the vagina, as well as corrode the latex from which the condom is made.
3. Sprays
Incredibly convenient means of fighting premature ejaculation. The spray can be taken with you wherever you go without the risk of flowing out of the vial or tube. The drug is sprayed 5-10 minutes before intercourse on the glans penis and coronal groove, and then rubbed until completely absorbed. As soon as the unit is numb, you can start erotic games.
4. Gels
They often include components of comprehensive action. Especially popular are products with L-arginine, which improve the key characteristics of the genital organ (changes the elasticity for the better, activates blood circulation) and has a positive effect on sperm quality. Some men have noticed an increase in the size of the penis, this is due to an increase in the elasticity of the vascular walls.
Sex toys
1. Rings
A special device is put on the base of the penis and the scrotum. Cock rings are made from a wide variety of materials: surgical steel, PVC, rubber, silicone. Some models have vibration function and diameter adjustment. The devices act on the principle of a tourniquet, namely, they create a barrier to the outflow of blood, thereby prolonging the sexual intercourse. Rings should be used with extreme caution. If basic safety measures are not followed, priapism (extremely painful erection) may occur.
2. Vacuum pumps
According to the manufacturers, the main purpose of vacuum pumps is to enlarge the reproductive organ. The effectiveness of a sex toy in the area of varying dimensions has not been proven, however, regular use (without fanaticism, of course) improves blood circulation in the cavernous body of the penis. In cases where premature ejaculation is caused by congestion, pumps can help eliminate the root cause of the problem.
3. Masturbators
I recommend using masturbators to implement technique # 13 of this article. Rubber, silicone products will allow you to control the training process from start to finish and create the illusion of a partner’s presence. It’s one thing to use your hands, and it’s another to connect your imagination and a special device. The inner surface of the toy is covered with massage elements (pimples, ribs, antennae), which enhances sensual stimulation. For lovers of naturalism, I advise you to pay attention to cyber-leather masturbators.
4. Prostate massagers
They are actively used for the prevention and treatment of prostatitis. An important point is that it is strictly forbidden to use a massager during a relapse of the disease. Remove inflammation with drugs, and only then introduce the unit. It will remove the stagnant secret and allow you to enjoy intimacy with your partner for longer. The following types of toys are distinguished: ordinary (massage is done manually), with vibration, heated and sending electromagnetic pulses.
5. Special condoms
There are several types of contraceptives available to combat early ejaculation. Some have a thin layer of lubricant with an anesthetic, such models can be bought at the pharmacy. For others, you will have to go to a sex shop. They have thick walls, which makes them less susceptible to petting. Men complain, they say, in such rubber they feel like in a spacesuit. Go on a space flight or be content with a short intercourse – you decide.
Special drugs
1. Drops
Having carefully studied the composition of the drops for potency, I did not find anything supernatural in it. Ascorbic acid is aimed at increasing immunity, I have already mentioned the delicious properties of L-arginine, guarana has long been considered an aphrodisiac, licorice root is used to regulate the secretory of the gonads. The only side effect is an allergic reaction due to individual intolerance.
2. Plant-based tablets
Most of the herbal preparations are supplied to the domestic market from China. Manufacturers focus on the unique medicine methods of the Middle Kingdom, proven over centuries of practice. I recommend that you be skeptical about such pills and be sure to read the composition. Treatment depends on the stage of the disease. In case of serious problems with potency, they take a 10-day course, taking 1-2 pills, for prevention – they drink 1 tablet every 3 days. After taking it, a prolonged erection is possible.
3. Antidepressants
The pharmacological action is based on the prevention of the reuptake of serotonin in the brain. The maximum effect is achieved half an hour after administration. Most often, doctors prescribe Dapoxetine and its generics to patients complaining of premature ejaculation . The drugs are perfectly combined with herbal remedies, but during the treatment it is forbidden to use alcohol and other types of tranquilizers. Remember that only a specialist can prescribe medication.
Ways to deal with premature ejaculation
Before using radical and dubious methods to delay the throwing of white arrows, it is necessary to exclude banal factors that affect the duration of sexual intercourse. For your convenience, I have arranged the methods of dealing with premature ejaculation in a clear order from the most innocent to the downright extreme.
1. Quitting bad habits
Substances contained in tobacco smoke enter the bloodstream and lead to vascular blockages. They negatively affect blood circulation in the pelvic organs. Heavy smokers are twice as likely to develop erectile dysfunction as non-smokers. When it comes to alcohol, in small amounts, ethyl alcohol actually prolongs an erection. At the same time, frequent use “for courage” leads to a decrease in libido, loss of control at the most crucial moment and premature ejaculation.
2. Proper nutrition
The second point in the rehabilitation program should be the transition to proper nutrition. Include in the diet foods rich in zinc (legumes, oatmeal, liver), magnesium (apricots, prunes), vitamin E (nuts, vegetable oils, salmon), potassium (bananas, quince, gooseberries). Avoid, like fire, digestible carbohydrates and yeast foods (muffins, white bread, blue cheese). Keep your blood sugar spikes in check, and eat less junk food and unhealthy snacks.
3. Healthy sleep
According to research by scientists from the University of Chicago, men who slept less than 5 hours a night had lower testosterone concentrations in their blood than subjects on a normal resting schedule. The male hormone directly affects potency, so set aside at least 7 hours of sleep.
4. Regular sports
The lion’s share of sexual positions requires remarkable endurance from the representatives of the strong half of humanity. In most cases, the man takes on an active role. The logic of the promoters of a sports lifestyle is iron – regular trips to the gym will help to delay crossing the finish line in bed. Exercise reduces the content of intra-abdominal fat, eliminates shortness of breath, improves blood circulation and improves the functioning of the cardiovascular system, and, therefore, prevents premature ejaculation. Some statistics – men with big bellies finish 5-7 minutes earlier.
5. Reducing stressful situations
In the modern world, it is almost impossible to completely eliminate the possibility of stress, unless you go high into the mountains and spend the rest of your days in a secluded house. Men have high demands, they need to hammer up money and compete with colleagues in attempts to climb the career ladder and listen to the claims of their spouses. A loving and understanding girl is capable of relieving a little psychological pressure on a guy. Another option is to master the techniques of meditation.
6.Selection of the optimal position
Control over the process of intercourse should be in the hands of a man. Good dogi-style poses, a guy on top, a woman on a table, and so on and so forth. It is advisable to choose positions that involve significant physical activity, for example, standing on straight legs or holding the partner’s weight. Exercising the muscles will ease the arousal slightly. Variations without deep penetration or slow motion sex are also suitable .
7. Control of breathing
Measured deep breathing is a form of meditation that allows you to control arousal and relieves tension that leads to early ejaculation. Try to avoid small and short breaths, they speed up the heartbeat and reduce the concentration of oxygen in the blood (hypoxia causes premature ejaculation). Without breaking the rhythm of the frictions , stretch the inhalation for 5 seconds, hold the air in the lungs for 3 seconds and exhale smoothly for 5 seconds. It is not at all necessary to constantly look sideways at the hands of the clock, count the time approximately, the main thing is to remain calm.
8. Compression technique
The essence of the method consists in squeezing the penis by hand at the junction of the head and trunk at the moment of approaching orgasm. Thus, you literally hold back ejaculation. The key aspect is the minimum contact area with the genital organ and the absence of up and down movements. Squeeze the penis with your thumb and forefinger folded in an “OK” gesture for about 20-30 seconds. Do not overdo it with the applied force, in no case should you press until you turn blue.
9. Tantric sex
Intimacy in Eastern cultures is more than a physical act of pleasure. Try to experience the benefits of tantric techniques for establishing close bond between lovers. Emotional kinship and togetherness helps to tune in a positive mood. The following technique has proven itself excellently – coming close to the point of no return, the man completely removes the penis from the vagina and compresses the sphincter muscles. At the same time, he tightly presses his chin to his chest and inhales several times through his nose, and exhales through his mouth.
10. Kegel exercises
This set of exercises was originally developed for women and is intended for postpartum rehabilitation. Men also have the pubococcygeal muscle, which is involved in the process of controlling urination and ejaculation. The easiest and most intuitive way to exercise is to delay the flow of urine with willpower. You can do Kegel exercises without going to the toilet. Pull the muscles of the perineum for 3-5 seconds and relax, then make a pulsating motion for 1 minute. Do 2 sets 10 times in the morning and in the evening.
11. Pause method
It is very similar to tantric sex, only without removing the penis from the vagina and unnatural breathing. A man periodically stops during intercourse. To keep the partner’s arousal from subside, I recommend continuing the stimulation in other ways, for example, caressing the clitoris with your fingers or using a vibrator. By the way, if for some reason you do not want to devote your mistress to your sexual problems, then the pause method is an excellent disguise option.
12. Alternation of frictions
Perhaps the most time-consuming technique of all those given in the article, requiring titanic self-control and the ability to count in the most uncomfortable conditions. The man alternates 3 shallow and 1 regular friction 81 times (I have no idea why so many times). As needed, the penis is removed into the light of day and a respite is made. Then the manipulations are resumed. In the second stage, 5 shallow and 1 deep movements are made and this is again 81 approaches. At the final stage, 9 small and 1 full immersion alternate. A comment from personal experience – it is better to let the partner finish in a second than doing this technique. Such torture and his counting out loud (in another way, you see, it’s easy to get lost) will infuriate even the most understanding partner.
13. Masturbation
If self-stimulation in order to achieve orgasm as soon as possible can harm, then masturbation in compliance with a certain technique has a truly miraculous effect. The point is to act on the penis slowly, waiting for the phase of extreme tension. Then you stop manipulating, wait for the wave of excitement to recede, and again throw your chest into the embrasure. Repeat 2-3 times and only then allow yourself to finish (the ejaculation phase is very important, as it protects from pain and relieves stagnation). You can train either alone or in the company of your beloved woman.
14. Yoga
Many yoga asanas are aimed at activating the second chakra ( svadhisthana ), which is responsible for sexual energy. The position of an inverted candle (similar to the well-known birch tree) provides blood flow to the pelvic region, and the position of the cobra (you lie on your stomach and lift your body without using your hands, pressing your pubis tightly to the floor) activates metabolic processes in the intimate area.
15. Hypnosis
A dubious way to combat premature ejaculation, but due to the popularity and high efficiency in the treatment of easily suggested people, I could not ignore it. Some problems with potency originate in the psychological trauma of the past. In such situations, the help of a qualified specialist will come in handy. Beware of charlatans!
16. Circumcision
A radical method, acceptable only with increased sensitivity of the head of the penis and does not give a 100% guarantee of successful disposal of early ejaculation. Surgical removal of the foreskin can reduce the body’s response to stimulation and prevent a quick finish. Advantages: reduced risk of malignant tumors, aesthetic appearance, hygienic aspects. Disadvantages: painful rehabilitation, the need for more thorough care.
Finally, I want to make an official appeal to both sexes. Dear girls, do not be discouraged if your man is not able to hold out for a long time in the saddle, introduce non-standard techniques and sex toys into intimate games. Experiment and you will be rewarded. Dear men, do not overdo your frictions over time , so that your ladies do not have the thought: “Well, when will he finish.” Perhaps the problem is far-fetched and not worth a damn. In any case, the matter is fixable.