A question that is relevant for both men and women: on which date to have sex? There are a lot of stereotypes on this subject. For example, if there is sex on the first date, then the romance will not take place, it will be a one-night stand. And, conversely, with a strong delay in intimacy, mutual interest may be lost. Is it so?
Date doesn’t matter
Surveys conducted among men showed that the majority (75%) do not consider the fact of sex on the first date something fatal or critical. Women argue classically: if I give in right away, he will draw conclusions about my frivolity, get bored quickly, etc.
The men say otherwise. For us, the quality of sex is much more important – although it is difficult to get used to each other the first time, the main points are still obvious, how similar people have a similar temperament.
And one more important nuance: how exactly a woman behaves “after”. In general, all accompanying elements are important, and not just sex in itself. And it looks quite reasonable. One will be glad if the lady shows tenderness, attention to him, prepares coffee.
It happens that you want to spend your whole life with one woman – but he met her only when he woke up.
Others want there to be no mutual claims – “as long as they don’t make a scene.” In fact, the brightest and most pleasant experiences in bed will be reduced to zero by the growing tension or, even worse, by the immediate demand to get married, move in together, etc.
Men do not like pressure and manipulation, nor are they willing to make free choices.
Much depends, of course, on the circumstances and the level of attraction to each other. It happens that people meet deliberately for one night, for fun – and stay together for life. Pulling and postponing the long-awaited merger is fraught with cooling.
For women, there are a lot of tricks in this matter. They want to be desired, loved, surrounded by attention. Most of all, they do not want to be misunderstood and be considered flighty and frivolous. It is understandable: the reputation will suffer, but how … She does not want to languish in guesswork: he does not call because he did not like something or simply lost interest?
In fact, girls often want to sleep with the man they like quickly enough, but self-respect, dignity, upbringing put up obstacles.
25% of men confirm that they prefer the option when they are “tormented” and seduced, but do not immediately agree to intimacy. It’s part of the game between the sexes and guys like to get favors, easy prey isn’t that interesting.
He also wants to be special, chosen for her, someone who has achieved trust against the background of the rest of the environment.
Term of access to the body
On average, men and women think it’s okay to have sex after the third date. There are no clear boundaries, but everything is logically justified. On the first date, people look closely at each other, there is a mutual assessment. If she wants to keep the image of a well-bred lady, he is ready to wait and plays along with her on the second date. As a rule, not in vain – everything is decided in his favor on the third date. After all, they have already been to the cinema, and in a restaurant, and talked, they know a lot about each other.
But when the wait is too long, burnout and loss of interest often occur.
Thoughts about the frivolity of women who give themselves up on a first date, of course, creep into the head of a gentleman. But in fact, everything depends on her further behavior – she can easily change the impression in her favor.
If she is clearly delaying the decisive moment, then the guys have paranoid thoughts: she has someone or such a bunch of complexes that everything is deaf.
There is no specific calendar date. It all depends on the frequency of meetings. If you live in different cities and meet once every 1-2 weeks, then you can wait a month before intimacy. The decision must be conscious, without illusions and false expectations, then disappointment will not spoil mutual prospects.
What can be summed up? All relationships between people develop purely individually, so you should not come up with various false obstacles. You need to act only within the framework of the situation – depending on the frequency and quality of meetings, the degree of trust in each other. It is optimal to stick to the average strategy – to start sex on a 3-4 date, but this is not accurate!
And even better – sincerely confess to your partner your thoughts and feelings, doubts. Do not break yourself for fear of losing a partner. Flirting may well include playful but honest conversation about everything – that’s what you and adults are for. The main thing is a mutual spark and the desire to beautifully develop relationships. And the mood with which you go on a date and how much you open up during intimacy, understanding – why and why you are doing it.