If the anticipation of sex is half the fun, then preparing for the process can also be exciting and stressful. It doesn’t matter if you are in a new relationship, in a long-term partnership, you have a casual affair or friendship + sex without obligation, it is normal to “prepare” your body and mind.
A New York Post poll of 2,000 American adults found that 56% of people admitted to having awkward or “terrible” sex with a new partner. Of course, a little discomfort is to be expected. And this can be true in both new and established relationships, but there are simple ways to make sex better.
Best: eat healthy foods to improve your mood
There is food that makes you feel like a sexy star. If you’re hoping your date night ends up exciting, it’s worth improving your menu and preparing (or ordering) dishes that are (and proven) aphrodisiacs.
You can sprinkle flaxseeds on your salad; their antioxidants promote blood flow to the genitals, Healthline explains. Make sure to include a hearty serving of spinach in the first course, which is rich in crispy vegetables. The magnesium in greens can help reduce inflammation, which can also increase arousal.
Sex expert Dr. Tammy Nelson said: “The increased blood flow leads to blood flow to the extremities, which, like Viagra, can increase arousal and make sex more enjoyable. It will be easier for women to have an orgasm, and men will find that erections come more naturally. ” A win-win.
Ordering oysters? Come and brush them before having sex. However, don’t expect immediate results. Although they are high in zinc, a mineral that is essential for sexual function, this delicacy takes time to take effect.
Worst: eating spicy foods or eating too heavy food
If you know that the situation in the bedroom is heating up, make sure it is not as dire at the dining table. You may burn with desire, but heartburn is an unpleasant problem. What’s more, there are a few specific foods that are best avoided before sex. We considered such products in more detail in this article.
As Eat This magazine advises, Not That – you should avoid legumes or cruciferous vegetables (such as kale, kale and cauliflower). They can cause abdominal upset and gas (which is not entirely pleasant).
Of course, onions and garlic can change your body and breath odor, resulting in poor foreplay. Store-bought desserts are another no-no. Full of trans fats and sugars, these foods can raise insulin levels and lower testosterone levels, which stimulate sexual desire. It is better to replace such sweets with healthy sweets. Use common sense when choosing food before sex. Anything heavy that sits in the stomach like lead will not stimulate libido.
Worst: shaving or epilating right before sex
Of course, you want to prepare and tidy yourself up for the upcoming marathon night. But one thing you’d better skip: shaving or epilating your pubic hair. Shaving, in particular, before sex, can be risky, as Verywell Health explains, as even the slightest notch or cut can make you more susceptible to STDs. What to do?
First, try to clean up yourself in a day or so so that your skin has time to heal from your cuts. Second, avoid any body hair removal method if you have an active outbreak of a sexually transmitted disease, because this could further spread the infection among you and your potential partner. And, if possible, try to avoid razors altogether. Better neatly, delicately trim the hairs with scissors. Another variant? Confidently take on a natural look.
Best option: talk
“Let’s talk about sex, baby.” You may feel awkward or uncomfortable at first, but before you start the process, you need to gather your courage and admit your desires. There are many topics of conversation leading up to sex, especially if it’s a new partner.
Make sure you both agree. Emily L. Depassé, a sexologist, told Bustle: “It shouldn’t be embarrassing. You must take the time to confirm your partner’s consent and to make it clear to both of you what to do next. ” Next, talk about your sexual health status. It is important to be completely transparent about sexually transmitted infections. And if you or your partner haven’t gotten tested yet, you should do so first before heading to the bedroom.
Another point that needs to be confirmed or denied: exclusivity. Certified Relationship Consultant Stephanie Wikstrom told Bustle, “You shouldn’t assume that if you are having sex with someone, they are not having sex with other people. Be proactive in defining your expectations, boundaries, and challenges – you are both adults, after all. Breathe deeply, you can handle it! “.
Worst case: taking antihistamines
There is nothing sexy about sneezing or coughing. But if you have seasonal allergies, you know that the fresh flowers that your loved one brings every time can give you a runny nose or itchy eyes … that’s another question. But before you run to the medicine cabinet and take your antihistamines, think twice. Just as your allergy pills dry out mucous membranes, they can suck moisture out of mucus-producing cells. Physician Lauren Streicher explained to Shape that this can make it difficult to lubricate naturally. In addition, some antihistamines have a sedative effect.
As Shape recommends, grab a lubricant, try another allergy medication, or a natural allergy supplement like butterbur. But it’s better to consult your doctor first!
Best: Think about sex and create a mood for yourself
It is difficult enough to schedule time for sex with your partner, so carving out a calm moment to get yourself in the right state can also seem unrealistic. But it’s important to move from work to play, no matter how difficult it sounds. Even a few minutes alone with yourself – to raise the mood before sex, will help make it hotter, more high-quality and passionate.
Take on a few mini-activities to feel cool, confident and ready. Dr. Leah Millheiser, obstetrician-gynecologist, told Women’s Health, “It can be as simple as taking a shower, changing clothes or lighting a candle.” She clarified that reading a romance novel doesn’t hurt either: “It can be a really great way to kickstart your libido, especially at the end of a busy day.”
You can also use a more subtle approach. Sex therapist Vanessa Marin told Insider that it’s helpful to just “take five minutes … something that isn’t electronic.” In other words, unplug and let go of any thoughts clogging your brain so you can truly be present in the moment – physically, mentally, and emotionally.
Worst: drinking too much alcohol
Hoping for a stormy night in bed? Too much alcohol can interfere with desire and performance. As Healthline notes, excessive alcohol consumption can decrease a woman’s libido, make orgasms more difficult to achieve, and cause a decrease in vaginal lubrication. For men, this can make it difficult to achieve or maintain an erection and make it difficult to ejaculate. What’s more, studies (such as those published in the Archives of Sexual Behavior) have shown that binge drinking can lead to a potentially dangerous loss of inhibitions, which entails risk.
Of course, this does not mean that you cannot start the evening with a glass of red wine. Wine can even be good for you and your lover. A study in the Journal of Sexual Medicine found that women who drank small to moderate amounts of red wine had increased “sexual desire, lubrication, and overall sexual function.” A bit controversial? No, it just means that you can not abuse alcohol (and it is better to refuse it altogether).
Try to stretch a little. You don’t want to pull on your hamstring. Sex involves many muscle groups. And before you bend and bend, you should stretch and relax. Even if you don’t plan on going into the tantric yoga extreme, a good stretching will still help you, as suggested by Chelsea Streifeneder, a Pilates teacher.
You can also try some meditation to calm your mind and body. As Emily Fletcher, founder of Ziva Meditation, explained, meditation can reduce stress and anxiety, two of the main barriers to good sex. What’s more, meditation can promote the production of two happiness hormones, dopamine and serotonin, which, in tandem, can increase sexual desire and improve “orgasm intensity.”
Worst: Engaging in intense exercise
If you work hard in the gym, then your home workouts in bed may suffer. A study from the University of North Carolina found that intense and excessive exercise can lead to a sharp drop in male libido. The study’s lead author Anthony Hackney said it was only logical that women would experience the same decrease in attraction.
Of course, this does not mean that you need to sell your treadmill and give up free weights. Fitness educator Pete McCall recommends setting a standard. “To protect libido, limit high-intensity exercise to 40-45 minutes, two to three times a week.” You might sweat while jogging. Research has shown that regular, moderate exercise can improve sexual health. Moderation is the key to health, happiness, and, obviously, sexual prowess. You can also try intimate fitness.
Yes, preparing for sex is just as important as the process itself. Still, we recommend that you do not take this advice too seriously. Each organism is individual and each in its own way transfers certain moments. If you and your partner can’t hold back, then the rest of the points (shaving – unshaven, etc.) should go unnoticed.